The Queer Name Game

Come June in Kathmandu, one would expect longer days (more freedom for us Nepali ‘choris’, maybe); soaring temperatures amidst the dust and ever growing pollution, thinner and lighter clothing hoping that you don’t get ogled at and the popping of ‘chiso’ which makes you ignore all those dietary cautions about a bottle of ‘chiso’ having 12 spoons of sugar.

June also marks “Pride Month.” This isn’t your Dashain or Ramzan signalling a whole month of festivities but it definitely implies a celebration of diversity. This ‘festival’ ticks off the diversity box but what is it really?

Any web page will tell you that it commemorates the Stonewall Riots from back in June 1969. History tells us that these were a series of uprisings by the LGBTQIA+ community against a police raid at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, USA.

This being said, what does a riot that took place more than a thousand miles away in a different time have to do with us? The purpose is simple. It is in the intent, which is to acknowledge and celebrate diversity. One can’t argue that “Pride” is a Western import but we need to keep in mind that there is a whole community of individuals out there who are excluded at the policy level, education, health and so forth. Given that we have always had our own history of LGBTQIA+, embracing “Pride Month” should only work towards empowering the LGBTQIA+ members to walk with self-pride.

In the pursuit of being more inclusive, we feature articles covering LGBTQIA+ topics in every issue. This month we seek to broaden your horizons a bit by offering a prismatic view of those who swear allegiance to the rainbow flag.

Labelling can be stifling and limiting but it also expresses a person’s individuality and that is what counts. Labels are a work in progress so while we wrestle with their ‘definite-ness’, we discuss a few below.

Gender: Not to give you a science lesson but this term is a social construct, meaning, society defines it. Based on the gender assigned to you at birth you’re supposed to be either a man or a woman but this is where the problem lies because you can be one or none, you can be both or you can really truly be anyone you want to be (and that includes a unicorn too). 

Gender Pronouns: We’ve learnt pronouns in elementary school but so far it’s been limited to the binaries of him and her; even “they” is used for these binaries. However “him” and “her” are just two of the common pronouns used and “they” is actually used as a singular pronoun. If you’re unsure about a person’s choice of pronouns, don’t beat yourself up. Simply, ask!

Sex: Depending on your genitalia, you may be declared a male or female which in turn determines your gender and the roles you play as you age. However, there are intersex people who may not necessarily be born with your usual penis or vagina. But they’re not defect pieces. In most cases the parents make a decision to surgically ‘mould’ the child into their choice of sex. This doesn’t work out for the best.

Homosexual: This is probably the most well known term within the spectrum. Individuals identifying as homosexuals are attracted to and engage in sexual liaisons with those of the same sex or gender.

Cis: This is used to describe a person who identifies with the gender assigned to them at birth.

QUEER: This is an umbrella term used to include all identities that do not conform with the ones pigeon-holed by society. This includes people who are non-heterosexual and non-cisgender. Some people prefer to identify as QUEER or they may use the LGBTQIA+, MOGAI or GSM terminology.

MOGAI: Stands for Marginalised, Orientation (both sexual and love), Gender Identity, Asexual and Intersex.

GSM: This stands for Gender and Sexual minority.

LGBTQIA+: Stands for Lesbian, Gay Bisexual, Transgender/ Transsexual, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual and the ‘+’/ plus implies a constantly changing spectrum of gender and sexual identities.

Lesbian: If you have already googled this then you will know that the word possibly comes from the Isle of Lesbos where the ancient Greek poet Sappho once lived and wrote her love poems for her beloved who was, you guessed it, a woman. A person may identify as lesbian if they are a woman sexually or emotionally attracted to another woman.

Gay: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! A large part of my formative years was spent trying to avoid the term because I thought it was taboo. This term applies to any man who is attracted to another man. 

Bisexual: If you are attracted to any two genders then you may be a bisexual person. Of course, that’s only if you identify as one. Of the things you don’t assume about a bisexual person is that their sexuality is not equal to promiscuity. We are simply tired of hearing this!

Asexual: An individual identifying as an asexual does not tend to experience sexual feelings towards another person but they may develop feelings of love towards them.

Pansexual: “Thou shalt not discriminate!” So a pansexual person is someone who is attracted to anyone regardless of their sexual or gender identity.

Transgender: You may be familiar with this identity wherein a person transcends into a gender identity different from the one assigned to them at birth. If a man transcends into a woman they may identify as a transwoman and in the case of a woman transcending into a man, they may identify as a transman.

Queer/ Questioning: This is when an individual identifies with questioning their sexual orientations or gender identity. One can’t say if this falls in place with the ideals of Existentialism but many ‘Q’ people do believe (but not solely) that gender and sexual identities are fluid hence the reason for them to choose this space.  

Intersex: This identity is used by people who were born with genital variations. They may or may not have been subjected to surgery at birth.

Enby: When a person identifies as a non-binary person, that is, they do not feel bound by the binary of man and woman, they may call themselves enby then. 

If you explore you’ll find that there might be innumerable identities all of which cannot possibly be placed in this article! Beyond the hegemony of English there are also unchartered areas of the queer in indigenous cultures. At the end of the day, they all boil down to identity. So, even if you’re unfamiliar with them, try not to assume, be pro-active and ask them about how they choose to identify.

A little known fact: Our homegrown activist Rukshana Kapali has come up with a trilingual dictionary on terms related to gender and sexuality called “ A trilingual collection of gender and sexuality terminologies.” It’s a progressive work in progress so do give it a read if you’re interested!

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Words: Nikita Rai