Rukshana Kapali: Not Another “Other”

Rukshana Kapali has an infectious laughter accompanied by a colorful and amicable personality. She is a youth activist, a strong advocate of LGBTQIA and indigenous rights in Nepal and an aspiring linguist. Her foray into activism was inspired by her experiences and her desire to prevent people from going through what she has.

The system may not have been as kind to her given that she still has not been registered under her chosen identity at her University, but she is relentless in the struggle for her rights. Through her own efforts, braving trans-phobia, she has recently published “A Trilingual Collection of Gender and Sexuality Terminologies.” Covering Nepal Bhasha, Khas Nepali and English, her work is an extension of her philosophy of an integrative approach to life and it might very well be lauded as the first of its kind here in Nepal.

Away from all the activism, the academics and being one of the emerging faces of the LGBTQIA movement in Nepal, she is fascinated by her visage when the make-up artist works her magic for her shoot and she is always up for a good chat about love, life and everything else that falls in between.

Tell us a little bit about yourself

I identify as a transgender woman. I am 20 years young and I live here in Patan. Right now I am highly involved in social activism.

You are Rukshana Kapali the activist who is involved in LGBTQIA rights, indigenous rights, Newa rights and language rights. You’re a blogger, journalist, feminist, writer, and avid traveller and at the end of the day, you’re also a dutiful daughter to your parents. How do you manage to juggle all these multiple roles?

I’m sort of used to doing all this. This is because my involvement with activism didn’t just begin with one area and progress to another. When I started out in activism I was already learning about all these other diverse activisms so, in a way, the emergence of all this knowledge at the same time made me used to it. It’s only sometimes that I feel overwhelmed by all this. If I have to write something about LGBTQIA rights, I also write it in my native language. So the language activism also comes to the fore. In this way I integrate them all.

What sort of challenges you face daily and what are the ones you’ve overcome to be where you are as an individual today?

On talking about challenges in one’s daily life, there are multiple aspects to it. Nowadays I feel like I don’t face any challenges at all. I feel like I have such a blissful life now! This is so because compared to the life I had before, there aren’t as many people who are nasty to me. Maybe it’s because the demographics of my interaction with people has changed so that is why those circles that stigmatize or bullied me have reduced considerably. The circles I engage with are good to me; there is acceptance in my family although things are a bit different in my extended family. I would say that I am neither accepted nor an outcast there. I am somewhere in the middle.

I still do have a lot of challenges to face though; I still haven’t been registered at Tribhuwan University, I still get people staring at me, passing trans-phobic comments when I’m walking on the road, sexual harassment in public, online harassment; these things are going on but I would say the emotional trauma that comes from stigma is relatively less because I now have supportive circles.

On my father’s side, they still use my former name. It has already been four years. These things are seen on my father’s side but not from my mother’s. My mother was the first person to accept me, end of 9th grade. It was my grandfather’s birthday and I wore the dress (Newari dress, haku patasi) and came out.

There were very uncomfortable moments initially. My mother used to talk to people, they were the ones who sensitized my parents. The medical store owners told my folks, circumstances like mine were possible and natural. Gradually they came around. As for my dad, our neighbors were the ones to sensitize him. We run a tailor shop on our ground floor and since our house is rather old, one can hear everything from upstairs. My parents used to talk with customers about me and they were sensitized in that manner.

Who has been your source of inspiration?

I’ve always found this question very difficult to answer. There might be certain things about certain people who have inspired me.

Where I drew an inspiration to come out was from when I started to learn about closeted individuals who were forced to marry and lead miserable lives. I didn’t want to imagine myself in their place. So my decision to come out was inspired by that. My decision to be an activist; why I choose to be vocal all around has been drawn from my past experiences. I wouldn't say I have changed the lives of many people but being vocal has an impact on people, media, and society. I wanted to create that impact and drew my inspiration from what I experienced.

Nepal is said to be a forerunner in LGBTQIA rights in South Asia. What course of action do you think should be undertaken to create a safer and better space for the LGBTQIA community here in Nepal?

I think for now, several things can be done in the implementation of the Constitution but we all know that it is not enough. However, that will create a very strong ground. Our Constitution recognizes gender and sexual minorities but there is no clear definition of who the gender and sexual minorities are. I think we should have a separate act for marginalized groups and if there is this LGBTQIA Act then I think it is going to be a groundbreaking document.

Where do you see Nepal and their interaction with the LGBTQIA community in the future?

That is a very difficult question because so many new laws are being made. I would say calling Nepal an LGBTQIA friendly country is simply a matter of romanticizing the country. Compared to other South Asian countries it might be better but that is not the point. It’s like saying Nepal is a safe place for women because it’s not like Saudi Arabia! Unless the ground realities are addressed. It appears as if everything has been solved after it has been mentioned in the Constitution but laws and acts are still being made and contested over. About the course it might take, it could go seven different ways in the seven Provinces.

We were also making demands to use a whole spectrum of identities instead of just ‘third gender’. Debates are going on about the usage of terms. For example, when I registered for my citizenship they told me I’d be placed under “O” (Others). But the thing is, unlike other people who would be identified as someone’s daughter or son, I would be identified as someone’s “Other.” We proposed to have the preferred gender terms but that does not seem to register with them.

Embracing one’s vulnerability and turning it into one’s strength is something that few members of the LGBTI community can do. What is your advice for individuals of the community who wish to embrace themselves?

There is no golden rule to this. I would suggest that we should all reflect on ourselves before taking any decision. We should think about our environment, our background, our capabilities and how to come out of our situation, which might differ from person to person. I think it is important to understand how to navigate through the power structures and how we start to build a safe wall around ourselves.

March 8th is International Women’s Day, which recognizes the achievements of every woman regardless of who or where they come from. It is a reminder to all self-identifying women to aspire to be better versions of themselves. In this regard, what do you aspire for in life?

If one could wish for things to happen then I would wish for everything to be fine and LGBTQIA friendly. I do aspire for a day when there is no discrimination and prejudice.

As an individual I see myself as a linguist provided TU registers me. I also see my activism continuing for the rest of my life and it might take different forms, not always involving protests and legal advocacy but the issues in advocacy will always form a large part of my life.